That Night at Hospital Bed

Half month ago i was happy guy living at Delhi and studying for ESE examination. I never thought with in short span of 15 days my life would take a big U-Turn but sometimes it happens. We have to live with this because nothing is in our hand when it comes to a major health problem.  

                I heard about this pain that this is more intense and more severe than the pain which a woman feel when she gives birth to a child but I never thought I have to feel this pain in my life. Even today I feel dreadful when I ponder about that night. I was operated by doctors on morning of 9/11. 

Yes…!!! 

9/11 always bring a big change in everybody’s life but my life had taken big U turn. On one side all over country was counting their currency and other side I was counting my breathes I was very afraid because this was my first time.

Day-1… On morning of 8/11 I was admitted in hospital and checked up by doctors. After deep diagnosis they found 5 stones in my kidney and ureter. They told me tomorrow we will operate you. I was happy because my problem was going to be solved soon.

Day-2… I was taken into the operation theatre on the structure. I was asked to remove my clothes completely. So there I was a nude patient in front of 3 doctors and other staff. First they cracked few jokes to make me laugh and suddenly they injected me some medicine so I got unconscious. After which what they did with me, still I don’t know completely. That day my eyes opened around 6 pm. I found myself on a bed in ICU. On my one hand cannula was there for drips. On the other hand an instrument for pulse checking and blood pressure checking was there. Other side monitor was there on which my complete information was shown. After few minutes I found my parents near to me sitting on the bench nearby my bed. I saw in their eyes, they are telling me that son your operation is successfully done and they will discharge you soon. I was asked not to speak much and not to move for at least next 3 days. I was happy but I didn’t know that night was going to be horrible night of my life. I was in ICU so my parents were not allowed after 10PM to be with me. They left me around 10.15PM. Till then everything was okay because doctor gave me injection of pain killer during day time. Around 11PM I felt some pain near my right kidney and I called staff member. He told me sir you will have to feel the pain tonight, we can’t give you pain killer because it is the process. Slowly slowly pain started increasing and I started crying loudly. The pain was so extreme and austere that I was not able to bear it. I had wept for the whole night loudly. This night I can’t forget in my entire life.

Day-3… On the next morning doctors came and gave me some injections and medicine so I slept and I was transferred to general ward from ICU. When I woke up I found myself in a room between two beds. After some time they told one patient who was left side of me, has been admitted for more than one and half month due to injury in brain. He was around 30 years old. His family had spent more than 2 lakhs rupees. On the right side there is another patient who has been admitted since last 15 days due to heart problem. His family had spent more than 1 lakhs. Both of them are unconscious and food is inserted with a small pipe through their nose. I was shocked because my whole stusy of this year is fucked by these stones and another side those people who even dont know whether they will be alive or not after this treatment. They just have small Hope to go outside this hospital as soon as possbile. That night was my last night in the hospital. I felt pain again with same intensity and I cried but this time I cried due to them. Due to those two patient not due to my pain.

Day-4… Next morning on 11/11 I was discharged but still I think about those two patients and I wish God help them to recover their natural state fast. I wish we all live healthy and be happy for long, long and long. My purpose of sharing this story is not to gain sympathy of people but to tell that if you are really sad due to something, go to any hospital and talk with patients, help them, no financially but by humanity.

At last I request you not to call me because I can’t speak more for next few days. I also want to say big-big thank you to my parents, my family and my friends especially Shubham, Akshat,  Prakhar, Pranshu, Punit, Kittyyy for being with me there all the time.

दोस्त

लगता है कल ही साथ आये थे 

ऐसे हाथ पकड़ कर 

कुछ लम्हें थे जो बिता दिए

कुछ किस्से थे जो सुना दिए

पता नहीं वापस कब ये लौटकर आयेंगे

हँसा भी तुम्हारे साथ 

रोया भी तुम्हारे साथ 

उठा भी तुम्हारे साथ 

सोया भी तुम्हारे साथ

थोड़ा तो धीरे चलो यारो 

रास्ता गुजरने वाला है 

मंजिल तो दिखने लग गयी

पर सफ़र अभी बाकी है

आओ जी ले इन छोटे छोटे 

पलों में अपनी जिन्दगी 

क्योंकि पता नहीं कब ये 

लम्हें अब गुजर जायेंगे 

फिर वापस लौट कर ना आयेंगे 

कुछ का सफ़र खत्म हुआ 

और 

कुछ का है अभी शुरू हुआ 

दूर कुछ चले जायंगे 

फिर पता नहीं पास कब आयेंगे

याद करेंगे या नहीं 

पर वादा करता हु यारों

तुम हमारे बिना जी नहीं पाओगे 

जो आ रहे है हमारे रास्तो पर 

उनके लिए एक बात कहता हूं 

जी लेना यहां जिन्दगी 

फिर जी नहीं पाओगे 

पार्टी अभी कर लेना 

बाद में बैंक में ही जमा करवाओगे 

अलविदा कहता हु यारों

अब समय हो गया है 

नया सफ़र कह रहा है की नयी शुरुवात है 

पर मुझे पता नहीं शुरुवात  है या अंत...

The Suicidal Attack

“Student hangs self over breakup with boyfriend.”

“20 year old BA first year student ends life in city.”

“He quits his life by poisoning himself”

     I read those 3 news on P3 while reading newspaper few minutes ago & there are many more news like this which are not printed yet in any of the newspapers but after all they were also ours. As we can see this is only news of solo metropolis. We have large number of towns as well as news too. After that I searched over google like, “How many people commit suicide in India and worldwide?” You won’t believe what result I got over there.  I am copying the line as it is, “About 1000000 people commit suicide worldwide every year, and of these 135000 are residents of India.” Can you believe it? One and almost half lacs people end their life in India every year by committing suicide. Honestly speaking I can’t believe it because as I have grown up I have learned that India is the nation of great culture & people. Almost every religion has big connection with India. The great Vedas are being found here only. Ohh!!! I can say much and more about our country but that is not my goal to write this.

Actually I was so stunned by the news that I came across one incident of my life. Once when I was an engineering students & my first semester exam was going on. The day I remember was 14^th February, yes it was valentine. My first valentine in my long distance relationship as well as the day of my exam of mechanical engineering which is the most embarrassing and worst subject for me ever. Till date I am not able to understand those codswallop IC engines and Thermodynamics. On the other hand it doesn't bother me because “Jinhone samaj lia unhone kya ukhaad lia”. In the end my exam went very ruthless and I almost suppressed. I felt depressed and it was confirmed that I was going to fail in that exam. Apart from this we were six friends and they felt very happy after the exam so I became more disheartened than. To compare myself with others is not a good thing in any case but on balance this is by default programming of almost every students in India. I compared myself & predicated that I was going to fail in the exam. Sweating started throughout my body & temperature started increasing. I completely lost and I left my hostel in the late evening for end up my life. I kept on walking on the road towards nowhere. I didn’t know where I am going nevertheless I was going to end up my life for just having a bad exam. Suddenly I saw something that completely changed my life. A boy probably ten years old boy came to me and asked me to purchase a garland which he was selling to feed himself twice a day flatbread. I really don’t know he was having parents or he was alone. Although the point is, he had hope in his eyes that he would make it anyhow. I questioned him, Are you happy with your life?” & he responded, “Sahab main sukh dukh nahi janta muje bus mera pet bharna hai or padhai karke bada aadmi banna hai.” After this I came back to the hostel, whimpered and slept. Next day I started my study again for the next exam and i worked on myself to overcome the fear. No matter how big or small but I am sure today where ever he is, must be happy in whatever he has. That day I promise to myself not doing anything like it and accept the whatever happen to me. If we fail at a point in our life, it does not mean we are a failure.

What’s the point of my story? Do I want to make myself superior to them who quit their life? Or I am telling you that see how good I am? No!!! The point is very simple why we don’t accept the things as they are? Why we want our lives according to ourselves? Until and unless we don’t accept the our failures and sorrows we end up being unhappy and this will lead us to wrong decisions. The boy could also end up his life but he chose to survive with less. He chose to be happy with less & instead of complaining he chose to chase his dream. Until and unless we accept the less & failure how we make more and large. The people who don’t accept the little they have, only they lead their life to suicide. I know I also made a mistake to thought about end up my life but gradually i overcame on it. That does not mean I don’t get depressed now, I get depressed till now but I know I will make it big one day and as same as me you too also can do it. So if you have suicidal thoughts before doing anything just count the little you have & take decisions with your calm mind and heart not with a mind of negative thoughts. If you are not able to take a decision just share your problems with the person whom you love and respect. Even you don’t have a single buck but you have your breath with yourself. So start from small, start again, start from scratch, start a new thing, start a new life, start a new career, start study something else, start the new business, start whatever you want to & always remember this world is very big and here vast opportunities are waiting for you. One life, live it.

#aazaadiyaan

Are You Normal??

As human being we are considered completely normal if

• Believing that dreams are impossible.
• Believing in everything they tell about who are your “enemies”.
• Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.
• Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.
• Always running for achieving something which you don't need at all. 
• Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.
• Thinking that parents are always right.
• Following people who are in our family working at some big company.
• Keeping away our younger siblings from taking risk and problems in life.
• Working from nine in the morning to five in the evening at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.
• Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.
• Saying nasty things about our neighbours.
• Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).
• Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.
• Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.
• Wearing a piece of collared cloth wrapped around the neck, known by the pompous name “necktie”.
• Talking about the nation, its problems, even talking about people whom we don't even know. Even though they don't even know us too.
• Having news of everything but don't know anything about the self.
• Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.
• Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.
• Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or that it is worth absolutely nothing.
• Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice”.
• Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.
• Being convinced that all the famous people have tons of money.
• Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.
• Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.
• In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.
• Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.
• As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world, even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.
• Going to a charity event and thinking that it is enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.
• Eating three times a day, even when not hungry.
• Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent. Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.
• Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.
• Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.
• Marrying the first person who offers a position in society. Love can wait.
• Always saying “I don’t have time”, even though you are busy in all wrong things.
• Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.
• Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs and social media.
• Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.
• Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.
• Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.
• Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality.
• And finally, thinking that your religion is the sole proprietor of the absolute truth, the most important, the best, and that the other human beings in this immense planet who believe in any other manifestation of God are condemned to the fires of hell.

This is how our society works and if you want to break the rules, You will be called abnormal. Now it's only our choice of being normal or abnormal. Although I read this somewhere but i want to share this with my readers so i posted it. 

                                                     

                                                           Are you normal??

or

It is first time you want to be

abnormal???

I am a Common Man

             I am a common man. Yeah… I am a simple person. I am one who go for work at early morning and return home late. I am very busy because I have to earn money for myself, my family, to pay the fees of my children, for emi instalments, for medical of my parents. This is me & my life. I have been doing this for years and I will keep on doing the same. I have dreams but I can’t fulfil them because I don’t have time to think for them. I am busy in developing my status in society. I want my name should be there on mouth of my family members. I want my bank balance should maintain. I don’t think about my health and life, I just want to run for being a successful person. For me success is money, name and fame. For me success is having a vehicle which contains four tyres, branded attires & a cell phone which contains a fruit symbol on back side of it. I am proud of my attitude and life because I have left a large population behind me who are still trying to become like me or you can say I am a stud. I like to hang out at weekends. I love my children. I want to see them at the top of this world but I can’t let them take any risk because I am afraid of this world, what people will say if my children don’t get successful in their life. I have decided a career option for my daughter and she is going on that path happily. Sometimes she told me about her dreams but I create fear in her heart by telling her some good failure stories of my family members or my near ones. She easily believes on those stories because she thinks i am the one who knows everything.

            My son is doing job in a big MNC and his package is 10 times of my monthly salary. I am very happy for him. He is very successful person. I never asked him what he wants. He has been walking on the path which was previously decided by me. I am happy because he will get a good bride soon and I can also ask for some dowry. I remember once my son told me something that he wanted to be a writer. We all laughed over his desire. In this busy world who can give money to a writer? Am I wrong? Who will give money to a write? Is there any career option in writing? Definitely not. I told him some failure stories of my family members and my near ones on same pattern which I told my daughter. He understood that easily or you can say I made him afraid of being not paid for what you want in your life to do. Now he is MBA from a very good college. I don’t do any future planning for my life I just react over situations every time. I take decisions on the basis of my thoughts or you can say on the basis of others life. I don’t want my son to take any risk in life because I have seen big failure in my life and I learned that failure is very bad for life. I don’t know why successful people like Sachin Tendulkar always says,” Failure at most important part of success.” I think he had luck with him. Nevertheless I won’t allow my son to take any big risk in his life because I can’t see him as a failure. My son’s big job is one of the reason of my status in this society and if he take any risk, might be my status get down. I don’t have courage to see my life like this. For me our family status is very important as compared to our happiness.

         I also have a friend whose son is just opposite to my son. He also has an engineering and MBA degree like my son. He was also doing a job in a good company, but he left his job. Really he is mad, he left a job in which he was paid almost same like my son. One day he came to his father and told him that he don’t want to do job further in his life rather he want to open a small restaurant in his city for the people and he want to provide a quality food for people over there. Actually he was very frustrated by the quality of food which he was getting in his job. His father who is my friend also opposed him very much but he didn’t listen to him. He was very stubborn that time. Today he is running a small mess in which he is providing quality food to people. I am very happy because his earning is very less as compared to my son but I don’t know why he is very much happy as compared to my son. I can say this because whenever my son and he meets, he always tells my son about his growth at his small business of mess and my son always tells him about problems of his job. Apart from it I am very happy because my son is working in a very big MNC and my friend’s son is just a mess wala.

  Story ends here. I have a lot words here to describe you what I told by this story but I won’t do that. Now I am leaving on you to understand whatever you want to understand by this. It’s only your choice who you want to be in your life. All you need is courage to stand for what you want.

एक बार कोशिश तो करके देखो यार 

कोई इन्सान अगर 

उसके सपने के लिए नहीं जिया 

तो क्या जिया..???

Champion

Who is a champion?

One who dare to do what nobody has thought ever in this world. One who knows he will fail but instead of shifting his path he keeps on trying. One who has fears but also courage to overcome it. One who thinks out of the box for changing something. One who has a lot of disabilities but instead of complaining, he makes effort to overcome it. Today I found some champions in my diary so I thought to take their success in front of the world by this blog.

• He used to sell tea in Indian railways & today he is prime minister of our country. - Shri Narendra Modi
• He was deaf but he created one of the best music of this world which is still inspiration for many musicians. - Beethoven
• His book was rejected by every publisher & finally somehow he managed to publish it by himself and today he is bestselling author of 3 novels on God Shiva trilogy. - Amish Tripathi
•  He was called fool by everyone, he invented energy equation by himself. - Albert Einstein
• After losing one hand permanently in a war he became best pistol shooter in the world by another hand, won back to back two gold in Olympics. - Karoly
• A college dropout who invented biggest computer and mobile company ever. - Steve Jobs
• He was not having money inside his pocket but his company is still one of richest company in India. - Late Shri Dhirubhai Ambani
•  Small in height, younger than other players when he joined the team but today he is “Bharat Ratna”.- Sachin Tendulkar
• They sold second hand books outside railway stations & today they are the king of Indian ecommerce industry. - Sachin & Binny Bansal
•  After giving back to back flop movies he was going to leave Indian Bollywood industry yet he gave one more try and today he is Shahenshah. - Amitabh Bachchan
• After criticized by everyone he created biggest Indian stock image agency. - Sandeep Maheshwari
•  He sold his wife's jewellery for starting a company. - Narayan Murthy
• He was nominated 5 times for an academy awards but ended to have one when he became The Revenant. - Leonardo DiCaprio
•  He kept on running even after his torn hamstring & then got standing ovation of 65000 crowd of people, the man who never gave up. – Derek Redmond
• He belongs to a very small village in India. Nobody knows him until he made us laugh. - Kapil Sharma
• He was fired from a newspaper editor & told lack of imagination then he built Disneyland and awarded by 22 academy awards.- Walt Disney
• He broke more than five times before creating his first automobile T-Model & then he created Ford.-  Late Mr. Henry Ford
• He was a cancer survivor, he trained himself for 12 hours a day, he is 7 times tour de France winner. - Lance Armstrong
• He was rejected 3 times from film school and told he could not direct in his entire life. Then he directed best movies ever and awarded by 2 academy awards for best direction. – Steven Spielberg
• He was cut from his high school basketball team & today he is considered the greatest basketball player of the world, 5 time NBA champion. - Michael Jordaan
• He was blind & he developed a new language for blind people.- Lui Brail

There are many more like them. Really they don’t have anything which we don’t have in common, they just have one desire, a burning desire to do something, to become someone, to achieve something & they did it. They changed the history. They are champions. We don’t need to do such big things, all we need is to take stand for our own life to make is best. We need to take stand for our values, our dreams. For this we should have courage to overcome our fear of failure. Believe me failure is the first step of success. Now it your time to take action. 

May you all do what you truly love

&

Never let failure discourage you from

Dreaming  

Asynchronous Minds, Synchronized Souls

Life is going with every breath I take. I wake up, do all stuffs and go back to my 4x6 bed every day. One day I will going to sleep permanently on somewhere which will definitely be 4x6. I read these lines somewhere on a grave.

                     मंजिल तो मेरी यहीं थी,                         

बस जिन्दगी गुजर गयी यहाँ तक आते आते |

         

In my routine life I don’t remember this. I take decision only on behalf of my experiences which happen with people around me. What they are doing with me, what they talk about me, what they want me to do, what they think of me, all these things matter to me a lot. All I want is my impression should be good on each & everybody. I even don’t care about right or wrong. I want to defeat everybody who are running with me in this nonstop race. Race is for money, name and respect. This is how my life was going on.                                                                                                                              

Who I am?                                                                                            

I don’t know.

and one day...   

        On Sunday evening I usually go Udaipur for having a balance in life. That day decided to go God Shree Jagdish temple for worship of God and when I reached there it was time to start the aarti (Hindu religious ritual of worship in which lights from wicks soaked in ghee or camphor is offered to deities & song is sung in praise of the deity). I felt very blessed because I haven’t been in an aarti for very long time. The aarti was around for more than half an hour and it was really a blissful moment for me. ,the Jagdish temple is very famous temple and it is around 500years old, When aarti was started I also started to sing it as it was going on I completely forgot myself and I surrendered there. I was dancing, clapping, singing like anything. There was not a single thought in my mind at that time. There was around 200 persons but I didn’t think a single time what they were thinking for me. This was really a heavenly experience for me. I was not thinking for name, money, respect or anything else. All I wanted to be in that moment endlessly.

Who I was that time..??

I know that for sure. It was me, the real one. It was the soul who is unmeasurable always in synchronization with peace.                                                                       

How it was happened?

Because that time my mind was not active, the mind which is always asynchronous in nature. The mind which is surrounded by thoughts, emotions and feelings. Mind who takes decision on behalf of experiences not instincts. Experience which of others & instincts of self.

Whose mind it is? Whose thoughts it is? Whose decisions it is?

It is mine. My mind is made by me only as my thoughts too. But it is always asynchronous with nature. It always wants to make itself superior by doing anything. In this race it always make itself miserable. I am so habitual to live with my asynchronous mind that even I have blissful moments but I don’t realize them. I am so much habitual to my thoughts and my configurations that I don’t even notice it. You may think asynchronous mind is right, there is nothing wrong in it & everybody is like it, than i will ask you,"When do you feel most happiness? With thoughtful mind or with peaceful soul?" 

Every Time its not right to follow people. Sometime we should follow our instinct too.

Have you noticed it ever for you?

Actually we are so busy in our life that we don't even have time to see that what is reality & what is illusion? I noticed it because in my routine life I was so much obsessed with people around me so that I never gave it a thought. I always follow their wish to make them happy and feel good for me. On Sunday suddenly environment changed and soul which is resisting inside my body come to me by that way. I realized that there is something inside every one of us and it live always in peace which  is relentlessly synchronized with nature. After all we all will going to die one day and its our choice to know the truth or to die with the lies.  All we need to make our self sensible and peaceful so that we can be in synchronization with our soul instead of our asynchronous mind.

At last I wish you a Synchronous Mind with Soul.

Thank you for reading it. Kindly share and comment on what you feel after reading it.

#aazaadiyaan